"How You Know You're a Teacher" by Jeff Foxworthy
- You get a secret thrill out of laminating things.
- You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
- You walk into a store and hear the words, “It’s Ms./Mr. ____________ and know you have been spotted.
- You have 25 people who accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
- You can eat a multi-course meal in under 25 minutes.
- You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day, lunch and planning period.
- You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
- You believe the Teacher’s Lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
- You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off”.
- You believe chocolate is a food group.
- You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
- You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, the kids are sure mellow today.”
- You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
- You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
- You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
- You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
- You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least 5 items!
- You ask your friends to use their words and explain if the left hand turn he made was a “good choice” or “bad choice.”
- You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.
- You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.
- You understand, instantaneously, why a child behaves in a certain way after meeting his/her parents.
I also had to laugh while I was at the store today. There were about 5 boys hanging from the metal shelves at Sam's Club, and climbing on the food pallets while their parents were looking at the boys and having a conversation. It took all of my willpower to not correct their behavior (See number 13). Then, I thought about number 21. :)
Have a relaxing weekend.